Crocs. They make me want to barf.

Alright, so do y'all know what I'm talking about when I say crocs?? They're those plastic birkenstock wannabe shoes that come in every single color of the rainbow. When I see people wearing them I seriously get a little angry inside. ESPECIALLY when guys are wearing them? Um, I'm sorry, are you proclaiming yourself to be a eunuch? I don't CARE if they are "the most comfortable shoes in the whole entire universe galaxy to infinity and beyond" wear a pair of flip flops for goodness sake. Well if you are 2 years old or younger then I think they are cute, but if you are their parents then definitely do not. You just look foolish. Now, the last time I was home I saw an orange pair with the Clemson logo on them....and I am just praying to my God that those were a free gift and neither my mom nor my dad are sporting those around Columbia. Sigh.

Other than that, I'm having a good weekend. I had a great interview yesterday with my former boss and he's recruiting me to come work for him at a new company. Then Aaron and I went to GROUCHO'S for lunch, so good. Aaron had to do a little work in the afternoon and after that we went to the pool and swam like 2 little kids complete with races, handstand contests, and who can do a better sneak dunk attack. We finished off the night by going with Mark and Jessica to see Pirates of the Carribbean 2. I liked it. It was just really, really long. My butt started to hurt. That's all for now! Only 8 days til vacation in Seattle. Yay!!! Nobody in Seattle better be wearing crocs. Watch out! Alison's on the hunt.

Lowcountry Highlights

Shalom Bitches. The video is amazing. Super props to Ron. The entire Smith family, including Bebe and Buddy have seen the video and now err'body in the club knows how we do. We having a bblllast down here in the lowcountry. To start, I rolled up on Tuesday and spent a few days relaxin' all cool. I went to the beach, did a little work, went running, you know the drill. I had the pleasure of going on girls' night with the S.L.U.T.S. (Southern Ladies Up to Somethin'). Now that's funny. My mom and her friends call each other the W.R.E.N.S. (Women Recently Empty Nested). What's up with that? Do we need a name for our friend groups? The M.O.T.H.E.R. F.E.R.S. (Mo Old Times Had Every...). Okay, we give up. So Drew came down Thursday night and it began!! On Friday morning, theses ladies got up and ran 45 minutes on the bee-atch. It was an amazing workout. We can still feel the burn. Then we shopped and went to the beach. Watch out, Greenville. Drew got some HOT new threads. OMG interruption. Kite surfing. Drew and I are absolutely intrigued by this sport. First of all, the men who were kite surfing were hot. Second of all, it's cool to watch. We'll learn soon enough.

Hopper got here Friday night. Oh, and the parents. So, we went to a 10:45 PM dinner at a BAR called Red's that's on Shem Creek (see facebook pictures). I had a trailer park scene with a guy who came up to me and said, "I love your breasts". Except, he didn't say that. Drew clarified later that he actually said, "I love your dress". And I was a bitch. Naturally. We went out afterwards in the Upper King area...you know, to "live the game", because that's how we do. I lost my credit card, but gained a group of friends in the process. We were a little OOC, but Millan, Brad, and Chickamunga took good care of us. Today we went out on the boat all day and it was SWEET. A perfect ending to the weekend. Tonight we said, "the hell with going out" so we decided to blog and facebook instead. Awesome. We're sunburned, full, tired, but very very happy after an amazing weekend in the lowcountry.

the wedding

(Double Click to play)

At last!! It only took a month and a half for the video to get made from Sarrin's wedding. But in the word's of my erudite brother "everybody gotta do shit" and so basically we've had shit to do and had trouble carving out a couple of hours to edit the video. I say "we" like I actually had something to do with it. All of the praise should go to Captain Ron Jeremy. I helped him think of the name of the song by Panic! At the Disco and of course Paris Hilton's song was on my iTunes, so those are my contributions. Anyway. This is our movie. And that's it.

Mom??? Pussycrumper??

Alright, so Aaron put this audio clip up last night after I was sound asleep. So, now I need to add a bit of text to make it complete. Over the 4th of July weekend when our New Yorkers came down to visit the word of the weekend was pussyscrump and when Kate and Aaron made reference to it, my mom was a little concerned, I mean confused. Who was her precious daughter associating with? All I can say is, I don't know. Listen to the message and laugh.

Heinous Scrunchy Woman

WHAT UP MATE TV!? This is a co-posting brought to you by both mates, Alison and Faris, as we are in the same city right now. Athens Mate came to visit Charlotte Mate and it's been grand. Faris is celebrating her last few weeks before going back to work (teaching the children of America) and Alison is keeping it real up here with her current hellacious job. So, last night we went to Cosmos for a little drinkin' and tapas. Tiffany came with. She's great. Anyway, we met up with one of her work friends, Maria and one of Maria's out-of-town friends, Heather. Tiffany assumed, since she enjoyed chatting with Maria in the office, that this relationship would translate outside the office. WRONG. Maria was annoying as hell (think: little 30 something redneck woman pulling out pictures of her dogs and her "hot man", talking so fast and loud I thought her head was going to pop off). To make matters worse, Maria's friend, Heather, was a total disaster. She had just flown in from Reno. She was wearing a SCRUNCHY on top of her head. Her hair was g-ed out like something out of the 80s. And she was wearing a lot of fake jewelry. When someone complimented her leopard print skirt, we all wondered why anyone would encourage such stylistic disaster. Her job was to do payroll and other "jobs" for a construction company. She said she loves deliverin' parts out to the work sites so that she can get all the attention from the workers. She might be only woman on earth that enjoys being catcalled and hit on by construction workers. Oh and Maria and Heather met at band camp. REALLY. OK, Alison hasn't helped me with this blog, dammit. But, anyway, I'll forgive her. She's on the phone dealing with another one of the ridiculous things that comes with her job. Anyway, so, Tiffany decided that she's over Maria as a friend since Maria is 33 years old, married, but still likes to go out salsa dancing til 4 in the morning on Thursday nights. WTF?! Tiffany said, "I'm grown."

My tour of thu South!!

Mates, I've missed the blog. I really have. I always check it to see if it's updated. I forget that I'm the one that's supposed to be doing the updating. Duh. For the next few weeks before I start work (ughhhhhhhhhhhhh), I'm going to be making a big trip around the South. I'm pretty pumped. So, this past weekend, I did the ATL thing. I went out Mean Girl/Beotch style, managed to take some scandalous pictures as usual, and caught up with lots of friends. It made me miss Atlanta like usual, but I think that everytime I go I'm more and more okay with the fact that I don't live there anymore and that I might not ever live there again. Honestly it's kind of overwhelming because there are so many freaking people and different groups to catch up with. I kind of prefer Athens or Greenville where I really only have a few peeps. Is that weird? Anyway, so this coming week, I'm going to Greenville where I'll do my usual Duke's lunch with Drew. Duke's, for all of you that are unfamiliar, is the best lunch restaurant in the universe. They serve smashed sandwiches. And sweet tea. And I'm sure some other stuff, but none of that matters. The sandwiches are on white bread (unless you're weird and you get wheat) and they're cooked on the grill so they're smashed and they're wonderful...think pimento cheese, chicken salad, barbecue, ham and cheese, egg salad. Whatever your heart desires. I've been eating Duke's sandwiches for 25 years...well, since I could eat. Okay, so then Drew and I are gonna go running, because you know we're running in a marathon in October!? Well, I think I've since decided to run the half marathon since my ankle is a bitch. But she and Mate are running the freakin' full marathon. I'm going to leave G'vegas and go see MATE AND BELLA (and you too, Ron) in Charlotte!!! I'm not sure what we're going to do, but I'm sure it will involve eating sweets, going on Mate walks, watching MTV, and shopping...because that's how we do. After that, I think I'll check back in Athens and make sure all my people :) are doing aight. Then, TO CHARLESTON, to soak up the sun. I'll be staying at Bebe's on Mount Pleasant of course. Drew is going to come down also and we're going to relax, go to Sully's Island, walk, lay out, go out, eat, sleep, watch TV...do all the things that we like to do on vacation. Drew and I are great vacation partners by the way. We experienced this in Seaside two spring breaks ago. Everyone thought we were weird because we didn't want to get dressed up and go to dinner and stuff. We just wanted to BE at the house: sit, read, sleep, and pretty much enjoy the QUIET. They were out meeting their wives and stuff. Weird. Drew, did you know that Brock is like serious with that girl he met in Destin? At AJs or whatever? Anyway... So, that weekend, my parents are going to come down in Chucktown and we're going to take Bebe and Buddy's phat boat out on the ocean and PLAY PLAY PLAY. I'm really excited about my "whirlwind trip of the south" (I think someone called it that once). I think that's the way to do it. Because that's how we do. It's Mate TV and that's IT!!!!

-Faris

We got jangled in Charlotte, NC

Hey Blog! It's been a long time. So, the past 4 days have been super fun and today, wednesday, has been a super draaaag. I'll start at the beginning. Aaron's college friends (sidenote: When does your significant other's friends become your friends?) came into town. Their names are Ian, Paul and Kate. On Saturday we trekked down to SouthPark Mall and surprised our friends with the plethora of nice stores we have in Charlotte, NC. They were really surprised that there are nice stores outside of New York City. We tried to use that to convince them to move down here...alas, it didn't work. Although we still had 3 more days of convincing to go. That night we met up with our friends, Leigh and Kyle and Alex and Molly and hung out at the park for the patriotic symphony night at SouthPark. We got some bojangles chicken and biscuits (not rolls) and proceeded to eat, drink and be merry. All courtesy of First Charter Bank. Sunday was a bit slower. After eating doughnuts we decided to go to the movies. The boys went to Nacho Libre and Kate and I went to The Devil Wears Prada. That movie is great!!! I recommend everyone go see it. I will probably buy it when it comes out on the DVD. Sunday night Spurgeon came into town and we had a cookout at the pool at my apartment. Oh, at my new apartment there is a resident Nanny McFee. Some old Brit hag that comes out and closes up the pool and also tells me that precious Bella is not allowed by the pool. I hate her. Anyway, that leads us to Monday which was so much fun because we spent the whole day on Lake Norman pontooning!!!! Everyone got too much sun and was completely waterlogged by the end of the day. We grubbed at P.F Changs and then Tuesday was sad cause the friends had to go back to the hustle and bustle of New York life leaving us bumpkins down in Charlotte. Aw shucks. All in all I had a great time and I love Aaron's friends because I think they are so funny and you can always be my friend if you are funny. I'm glad I got to know Kate better and I've decided she's my new best friend even though she doesn't know it yet. Oh, on the actual 4th of JUly, Aaron and I went over to Leigh and Kyle's and cooked out and shot fireworks. My parents never let us shoot fireworks because they thought they were dangerous and wouldn't you know two people got burned??? Well, one of them was Peter so that doesn't count but my heart goes out to Alex who got a 3rd degree burn between his toes from a sparkler!!! Thanks Mom and Dad for not letting me get burned as a child. The end.