Fun on the Faris funny farm

Thank you, Mom, for the title of my blog today. I really wish that I could blog about any and everything, but since this is public knowledge, I have to keep some of my stories for phone conversations. Mate, I'm sorry for not returning your call, I'll call you tomorrow. So, I have this recurring problem. Sometimes when I get upset or angry about something, I overcompensate by becoming a rock star (aka drinking too much). I talked to Bren about this and she said that her usual reaction is to just stop drinking and go home if she has an altercation with someone. For me, my inner voice tells me that I am actually a 200 pound man who can metabolize much more alcohol than my real life body. My inner voice says something like this, "You'll show him/her! Drink more mojitos!". My inner voice is an idiot. So, I give into the inner voice and live the rest of my evening "showing" the person that usually isn't even present at that point. Hmmm, stupid inner voice! Anyway, I'm recovering from one of those overcompensating nights and I think I've had a lightbulb moment. And when I really think about what it was that I had the trailer park argument about in the street, I'm embarrassed that it was even worthy of me a) getting upset and b) choosing to act like an 18 year old freshman. Lessons learned: 1) Don't lose sunglasses that don't belong to you. 2) If you find yourself upset and angry with boy, go home immediately. 3) Don't go to Waffle House after 5 glasses of wine, 1 vodka tonic, and 3 mojitos. 4) I am not superwoman.

I heart Propel

I think that Propel water is pretty much the most amazing drink ever made. Charlsie always brings me propel, which is really thoughtful of her. So, this morning I woke up with a huge hangover, so I wanted a Propel. What seems like an easy task turned into an all out scavenger hunt for this damn drink. I finally found some at Kroger, but it was disappointing because they weren't cold. I like Propel so much that I wash out the bottles and refill them with water. Or maybe it's that I like the cool mouth thing on the bottles. Not sure. So I just read on some random girl's blog that Propel might be bad for your teeth. Hope not, because I'm obsessed.

-Faris

one long week

Hi there. Mate, that was a long post you wrote, but I understand all of your pensive thoughts and feelings on the summer time. I love summer. Anyway, this has been a long but very effective week. The first part of the week I was in Peachtree City, Gawga with work learning how to give an effective sales presentation. Seriously, I am very confident in all aspects of life but when I have to talk in front of people I look like a damn fool. And I seriously hate that because I know I can do way better, so I did learn a lot this week. I was one of 5 women at the conference and the only one under 30 so you can imagine I got a lot of attention from the males and a lot of hateful glares from the females. Oh well. I imagine it would be a lot worse if I got no attention from the males. Suckas. Another success is that Bella is sleeping through the night, woohoo!!!! I'm soooo glad because me getting up at 2, 4, and 6 am was just NOT working out. (Refer back to earlier post about being woken up from a drunk call by stoopy Brandon Bailey) 3rd success, yesterday I had a conversation with my roomate that I had been dreading for about 6 months. I told her that I am not extending the lease and am ready to move out. You see, we have roomed together for 2 years now and were college roomies too. But as of late, our relationship has been a little....frictional to say the least. So, yes good things come in threes. Here is a great pic of my baby bella.

Out with the...old, in with the...new?

Hello everyone! Yes, I'm still alive and no I haven't forgotten about the blog. So, I'm at home (hooray) on my first day off after I've finished my student teaching (yippee). I actually just had to go to Kinkos at 7AM, so the whole sleeping in thing was shot. Well, I slept in an hour. Regardless, I'm done with the student teaching part of my life. Yesterday at school, my students had parties for me all day. We had two donut parties, an ice cream party, a quesadilla party, and finally a dessert party. ;) My third period is so amazing that after I gave my speech (thanks for being so wonderful, I'm going to miss you guys, etc.), each individual student wanted to give a speech! OMG! My girl Chelsea is such a drama queen that she demanded that we turn off the lights in the classroom and then she stood underneath the emergency spotlight in the room to give her speech. I have a video of a few seconds of it, but I don't know how to post video clips on here. I even got a special delivery of balloons! I got a mylar balloon that says, "You're special". I was so happy all day for several reasons: I was glad that my students actually liked me, I was eating the most amazing food ever, and lastly, I was ready to get the hell out of that school after 14 weeks of intense work.

So, this morning I was thinking about the fact that I'm not really closing a chapter of my life or starting a new chapter like so many of my friends are. I have friends that are finishing up law school or MBA school. Some 3Ls have even been at UGA all 7 years. They are leaving this bubble to start their new lives as real life people. Some of my other friends from my education classes are college seniors. Do you FU alum readers remember this time of year when we were seniors at Furman? Sad to leave everyone, excited about getting a paycheck at a job and not studying anymore, scared as hell about paying bills and having a boss? Well, my friends here are going through the same thing. Well, as for ME, I am staying right here. This summer I'm taking a ton of classes here at UGA. Three are online courses, so I have flexibility if anyone has a beach house with internet... Haha, anyway, starting at the end of July, I will begin my school year with Grayson High School. I've accepted a part-time position as a Spanish 2 teacher. I'm SO excited to be teaching at Grayson with the amazing faculty and students that I worked with this semester. I'm also going to be finishing up my masters, so I'll be a busy girl. What's so weird about all this is that I'm not moving this summer. I've moved every summer since I was 18! For once, I don't have to pack up all my crap and start fresh somewhere else. I guess I'm okay with it. I love moving all my stuff into a fresh, new room and buying new things for the bathroom and kitchen. I love arranging the furniture and having mom hang all of my pictures on the wall. I think I'm going to miss moving. I know my parents aren't going to miss it. Well, anyway, good luck to all of you that are starting new chapters in your lives. I'll be here holding down the fort.

Baby Bella Mushroom

Well, this weekend was just rolling right along until I fell in love all over again with my newest purchase, the one and only Bella Williams-Shurts. I was going to enjoy the lovely afternoon with some fun in the sun at Freedom Park when I stumbled along a lovely family selling the last of their litter of cocker spaniels. Now, I have wanted a dog for a good 7 months now and today the dog just seemed to find me. The owners were very nice and offered her for a very reasonable price and I am the proudest mommy around!!! So, blogworld, welcome the cutest dang dog this side of the Mason Dixon line, Bella.

Alison (#1 puppy momma)

absurdity

My life is truly like a reality tv show.

Happy Friday world!

Alright blogworld, I was gone for a minute now I'm back let me hit it (the blog that is). Mate has written some things that i would like to comment on but my comments would be too long to leave in the comment section so I'm writing a new post as my comment. First of all, Mate, I understand your plight in the whole guy situation. I see both yours and your mom's point of view, you ARE lucky to have that many guys focused on you (as we know several people who have trouble finding a date and are down on themselves about that) but it can be frustrating to not find one you want to spend more than a couple weeks dating casually. I think the big question here is, what are you looking for in a guy? What would really get your mojo working? And what is it about all of these guys that you don't like? I admire your ability not to settle and date someone just for the hell of having a boyfriend, I always lose respect for women who do that because it seems like they're not happy with themselves and have to find it in some GUY. Whatever. But think about those questions I asked my dear mate. I would like to add on to the ranting and raving but kind of in a different manner. No matter where I go or what I'm doing, driving, going to Barnes and Noble, working out, black guys always seem to holla at me. Why is that? I do have a black girl booty that I inherited from my mom, but dang. I really should keep a tally of how many times a black guy starts sweatin' me. Just yesterday I'm exiting a parking lot and this guy rolls his window down and is like, "mmmm mmmm mmmm" I'm sorry, do I look Campbell's Creamy Tomato soup? I don't think so. Although, the attention is funny and makes for a good blog.

Disclaimer: I am not racist. Thanks.

"The Values Americans Live By"

I recently discovered Dr. Robert Kohls' "The Values Americans Live By". The first time I read the list of 13 values, I was super annoyed. We're not like that! These make us sound like awful, heartless, heathen people. But when I really thought about it, I realized that they all had a lot of truth to them. I want to share one of my favorites...

Excerpt from "Individualism"
"Americans think they are more individualistic in their thoughts and actions than, in fact, they are. They resist being thought of as representatives of a homogeneous group, whatever the group. They may and do join groups--in fact many groups--but somehow they are just a little different, just a little unique, just a little special, from other members of the same group. And they tend to leave groups as easily as they enter them.

"Privacy, the ultimate result of individualism, is perhaps even more difficult for the foreigner to comprehend. The word 'privacy' does not even exist in many languages. If it does, it is likely to have a strongly negative connotation, suggesting loneliness or isolation from the group. In the United States, privacy is not only seen as a very 'positive' condition, but it also viewed as a requirement which all humans would find equally necessary, desirable and satisfying. It is not uncommon for Americans to say--and to believe--'If I don't have at least half an hour a day to myself, I will go stark raving mad!'

"Individualism, as it exists in the United States, does mean that you will find a much greater variety of opinions in the country, along with the absolute freedom to express them anywhere and anytime. Yet, in spite of this wide range of personal opinions, almost all Americans vote for one of the two major political parties. That is what was meant by the earlier statement that Americans take pride in claiming more individualism than in fact they really have."

Faris

'Twas the night before Easter...

and all around the cookout sat Uncle Kyle telling stories of his days of glory smuggling bibles on the Red Sea. No, blogworld, really, I am being serious. My good friend Kyle smuggled bibles on the Red Sea, how cool is that? So, anyway, as the pictures suggest Aaron and I hosted a cookout tonight at Aaron's apartment for some of our closest homies, and some of our homies brought their homies and it turned into a regular party.

We told people that it was going to be a cookout, which usually suggests being outside but a couple of the girls (ahem Leigh and Tiffany) were a little opposed to the inch worms and tree poop that kept falling from the sky. I vehemently deny that it was tree poop, I'm thinking they were little seeds but Leigh says they were mooshy....as you can see this was a hot topic of debate. So right now the Easter bunny is coming, yay!! I will report on what he brought tomorrow. I'm putting a picture of leigh in the blog since she is a big fan!! Below is a picture of oneofthemates and Leigh.
-Alison

Fun Day Friday!!!

Oh man am I glad it's the weekend!!! I don't have much news to report but I do have some funny stories. So, the latter part of my week was spent in Columbia visiting accounts for work and the like and while I'm in Columbia I stay at my parent's house. And for all of you in blogworld that know my parents know that they are so completely opposite that it's really funny, so when we're all together I usually laugh a lot. So last night we go out to dinner and my parents and I are having the usual dinner conversation about STRIP CLUBS and I feel the need to tell my parents that Aaron has gone to a few strip clubs in his day but I doubt he'll be going to anymore in the near future. My dad is like "yeah...well how do you know that?" and I was like "Aaron knows I will cut his balls off if he goes to one" HAHAHA, I thought my mom was going to fall out of her chair. It was really funny. Sigh. Well, tonight is the opening night of the Charlotte Knights and my company has a box so I'm going to that and then tomorrow night we're having a cookout with some peeps to enjoy this beautiful Easter weekend. Only 3 more days til Jesus jumps up from the grave, holla!!

Alison

EGGciting day!

Easter eggs make anything fun. I love them so much that I planned an entire day's lesson using Easter eggs. Oh yes, my friends. My students enjoyed not only an egg hunt with a corresponding vocabulary activity, but also a spoon/egg relay race that went with a grammar practice of sorts. Step off my kinesthetic review games, beotch!! I pretty much wore a perma-grin all day watching "the children" (as Holly and I refer to them) hunt for the eggs, run in the relay race with the egg on the spoon, and generally enjoy my engaging activities. I was on top of the world. Easter eggs are the best. Other reasons Easter eggs are cool: they are colorful, they can hold things (in my case, instructional material), they sit so nicely in a basket. Any other ideas?

To add to the fun, another teacher upon seeing us engaging in our kinesthetic review game (I love educational jargon!), decided to play a prank and in between classes go steal all of the eggs. Our next class was thinking that I was an expert egg hider. Anyway, we've plotted revenge and named it, "Project Peep". We will fill the suspect teacher's classroom with Easter grass and stick peeps to his whiteboard.

Faris

Crutches my ass!!!

Aight homies. Quick update. Regular doctor called yesterday freaking out, said he looked at my X-rays and I have a bad sprain with "joint instability" (whatever). "You need to get off your ankle immediately". So, I sat down. He instructed me to go get crutches and had already made me an appointment with the orthopedic man. Keep in mind that this is a 2 week old injury, right? Using crutches when you've been walking around on something seems really silly and is super annoying, but I tried my best all day today to do so. Well, good news!! I went to see Dr. Bacastow (?) and he said that yes, indeed, I have a severe sprain because not only did I tear the usual ligament that tears during sprains, but I also tore another one. In addition, I am having nerve irritation, which explains why I have tingly toes and loss of feeling in parts of my foot. He said that's due to the swelling. Blah blah blah. This blog is boring. The good news: no crutches and no weird braces or casts because of my nerve issues. The bad news: loooong recovery (6 months full recovery, at least 4 more weeks of doing nothing).

Did I mention that I ran a 10K in 56:16 on a "severely sprained ankle"? ;) I'm so humble.

Faris

No good crappy blah grody Tuesday

Alright, so today has DEFINITELY not met my expectations whatsoever. First of all, I had to wake up before dawn to go to a meeting that started at 7:30 a.m and lasted until 4. That was not fun because I think I have a mild form of adult ADD and I was going crazy!!! I started singing "Laffy Taffy" at one point when someone started passing around candy. Geez. Then I was SUPPOSED to go on a power walk with my girl Leigh but her overzealous husband (accidentally) extended OUR invitation to another girl. Now, I know y'all in blogville don't know, but I like to walk fast and I have long legs to allow that to happen and leigh weighs about 20 pounds so nothing is holding her back either. Letting someone else try to compete with that would be disastrous. So, Leigh and I decided to postpone our walk for next week. THEN, I started my taxes on April 11th no less!!, and all in all this day has just sucked and left me feeling bewildered.

Cankle Blues

Alright, I had been holding out on posting because I was waiting for a few minutes of peace and freakin' quiet so I could "compose". Well, ain't gonna happen. I've just walked in the door for the first time since 5:45 AM on March 31st. Wow. What a long spring break!! I'm impressed with Mate's skillz of adding a pictra of what she was talking about.

So, the medical profession just doesn't work on MY schedule. They just haphazardly suggest appointment times as if people don't work!? What the hell!? ALSO, I go get an X-ray at the hospital (the doctor sent me over there) and the technician (Side note: "X-ray technician" is just a nice way of saying "X-ray bitch", like nail technician or trapeeze artist)...tells me that it's going to be up to 24 hours before the radiologist writes up his report, gives it to the "writes up the report bitch", who in turn sends it to the bitch who calls my doctor's office, only to get the front desk bitch...well, you get my drift. Eventually I will find out something. Meanwhile I'll continue to hobble around on the 2 week old cankle/club foot.

Faris

Monday Monday

So, Mondays are always kind of slow but I've found a new way to make entertain myself. Online shopping!! I randomly got on Banana Republic today and they had a cute pair of the longer shorts that are kind of in right now, on sale. I love a good sale, I think they had been marked down like 50%!!! Plus, I'm a Banana Republic LUXE member so I don't have to pay for shipping, yippee!! Also, I got to talk to mate for a little bit today and she is had to get her ankle x-rayed because she's been way too hard on it lately, i.e running a 10k in 56 minutes. Which is awesome. Anyway, I digress--only 6 more days until J-dub jumped up from the grave and says I'm back beotch!

Alison

My hips don't lie

The name of my post is also the name of my new favorite song by Shakira Shakira and Wyclef, I really can't get it out of my head and I used to not like Shakira because she looked like such a SPAZ dancing in her videos, kind of like an alien got inside of her and was making her move all crazy like. But anyway, in other exciting news, one of my kind of friends in college BRANDON BAILEY, drunk dialed me on Friday night at 12:15 while I was peacefully sleeping to tell me 1.)how drunk he was and 2)how much he loved me and how I needed to call him back because he was desperate to talk to me because he loved me so much. First of all, if you're going to profess your undying love for me don't do it while I'm sleeping because I'm so cranky when I get woken up. Second of all, Brandon, I think you're kind of a dork and you need to put away those Adidas flops that you wear everywhere because those went out with Umbros. I'll end on a good note, we watched "Just Friends" with our great friends Leigh and Kyle last night and that movie is surprisingly funny.

Alison

Fast times at Furman

Let me clarify, I am not sweet, so you don't have to play like I am. And, we can definitely sign our names at the end of the blog so all of our friends know who is posting what. Which leads me to another question, how are we going to get our blog out? We're going to have to distribute a mass email of some sort? Because, we're popular, people like us and will want to know about what is going on in our daily lives. So, freshman year at Furman was definitely a good one. Faris and I hit it off like Forrest and Jenny and were each others best friends throughout the year, if not each other's only friends :) We basically did everything together and scared all of the girls on our freshman hall by having Insta-Parties and bringing MTV JAMS into their rooms to try to instigate some sort of fun to sometimes boring Furman U. Blog guru, AARON is telling me I'm writing too much so I'll stop.

Alison

The Beginning

First of all, I am about to pee my pants because I'm so excited about having a blog. I'm not sure how I'll handle it. I think that I'll do one of the following: 1. be obsessive and post all the time, only to get sick of it quickly and never post again; 2. never post because I don't remember to; 3. post all the time and find blogging to be a new "medicinal" way of curing what ails me.

Quick question, how are we going to make sure that people know WHO is posting? Maybe each entry should be signed at the end by the appropriate mate. Food for thought.

The beginning. Alison and I met a few months before we started college. We were paired together by the pot luck rooming gods at Furman University. Once we got each others' names, we arranged to have a meeting. I can't really remember what we did. I vaguely remember taking a pictraaa at my parents' house. Mate, can you fill in the blanks on this one? Then, we started college our Freshman year. I know that one of the first nights that we slept in our dorm room that I had a sleep walking/sleep talking escapade that freaked Alison out big time. Apparently, I started screaming at her in the middle of the night, telling her to "SHUT UP!". She thought that I was just a total bitch, which maybe I am, but of course I would never tell my sweet (?) roommate to shut up on the first night!

Mate, why don't you comment on what our Freshman year was like?

1st blog

First things first, this is Alison (the one in the black halter) and this is the first entry of our new blog!! Faris doesn't know about this yet but I'm sure she will be excited to join in on all the blogging fun. Now, I don't know about her but I don't intend for this blog to only be a place for me to post my deep thoughts, very serious topics, or only positive things that make me smile :) I'm going to write about things that I think are funny and will be amusing for others to read, so enjoy the frivolity.